eft-the-facts

EFT – The Facts

Couple psychotherapy has been evolving rapidly in recent years, and along with supportive research in the neuroscience community, couple counseling is clearly experiencing exciting and revolutionary changes in form and function. At the forefront of more recent clinical modeling and developed over the past 30 years is Dr Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy or EFT.  Much verifiable research points in the direction of EFT’s ability to establish a new platform from which to begin repairing the broken bonds of romantic love.

As a result of engaging in EFT, couples:

* begin to feel positive changes in how they relate to one another better

* find the changes are permanent and they are not apt to fall into old routines and patterns

* are able to identify problems situations and resolve these moments with clarity and more quickly

*are able to once again enjoy each other and find real happiness and joy in being together

* find their sexual relationship feels more connected and deeply satisfying

how-relationships-falter

How Relationships Falter

In the course of years adrift in an adult partnership where one feels lost without rudder or tether, much harm can come to these unions when the threads of couple bonds stretch and break. These bonds of caring, safety and understanding that seemed to exist in the early stages of romance now appear hidden or irretrievably lost. Partners are often uncertain and confused about what to do or who to turn to for help because everything they have tried as a repair or fix has been met with resistance or failure.

Over time, what develops in the disconnection phase of adult partnerships is more akin to the chronic and consistent lack of attachment needs occurring in infants. toddlers, and young children;  the basic need for emotional bonding was lacking to some extent by one’s caregivers. When this fundamental need for closeness, comfort and safety from harm is unavailable at such tender and impressionable stages of development, frequently what emerges in the ensuing years are behaviors that become default learned actions and responses which can persist throughout one’s life and impact their adult relationships negatively.

Fortunately with focused couple counseling, these behavioral tendencies can be transformed into the supportive and caring bonds that couples truly desire.

repairing-broken-bonds

Repairing Broken Bonds

Utilizing the basic structure of EFT, couples will be able to identify the patterns and cycles of conflict escalation and resulting disconnection, and then with guidance begin the process of reconnecting from an awareness of their partner’s attachment (bonding) needs. This requires significant emotional availability on the part of both partners - enough to safely express and receive critical messages of longing, distress etc. The mending process can be accomplished in fairly short order if the disconnect is not too problematic, or it may take longer if more severe emotional distancing or trauma has occurred and is ongoing.